I got a rare treat yesterday. I stopped off at a truck stop.
I didn’t mean to stop off at a truck stop. I just needed gas while driving halfway around the world for no apparent reason. There was this little, dumpy, Exxon gas station off a two-lane road that was just recently a four-lane road. You can probably guess that I was driving in Pennsylvania, all the road engineers and designers are required to have at least two illegal and highly mind-altering habits before they are allowed to construct a real road (On ramps into fast lanes, any lane at any time can become a turn lane, traffic has nothing to do with the road width, number of lanes, or maintenance regularity).
Well, anyway, as I was pumping gas, I realized that large diet coke that I “Super-Sized” at McDonalds wanted out. I finished pumping gas and went in to pay (they didn’t have the great little credit card slots on the pump). Inside, the place was huge! All kinds of fat guys with plaid shirts, beards and baseball caps were walking around. The plaid shirts – flannel – were not buttoned, but open enough to show the concert T-shirt or “I was there” T-shirt lurking underneath. There was a subway shop in the back serving large subs to guys talking on phones while stuffing their mouths.
The guy behind the counter asked me “What can I do for you, Buddy?” Wow, I was a GOD! I was in a truck stop and being called buddy. Well, I just hooked my hand in my belt of my slacks next to the beeper, put one loafer up on the footrest, moved my tie out of the way as I leaned over and told him about the $10 dollars of gas I had just bought. Yes, I found a place I fit in. I guess I wasn’t their biggest customer, although close, the guy behind me bought $200 in diesel. I then grabbed a toothpick, picked my teeth, and asked where the restroom was. “Behind the Dairy Counter”. I figured I find wherever that was while looking at the excellent baseball cap collection.
I finally found the rest room which had showers no less, – no I didn’t feel the need to use them. They were behind this huge guy wearing a flannel shirt that was hanging open to show a Disc Space Conservation Society T-shirt. The thing said “50 survivor less interrogation club”. He was like a Mac Truck with wire rim glasses. So do me a favor and delete these off the server. I don’t want a large truck driver in a baseball cap and flannel shirt showing up at your door with pizza and beer!
